happening at the 26th of december

according to ice " be kind to others even when others are not"

ok so , here i go.. happy and safe trip for me tomorrow.. wish me luck..yikes...

sos

i said i wanted this to last a bit longer and here he goes asking me and wishing to God for us to be like FOREVER!

waaaahaaat!

should i believe him? is he really ready for this? does he know what does forever mean? or maybe he was just carried away by the situation...i dont know! somebody help me! im confused and im scared....

kung bakit ako nawala

sir dan almost broke my heart...
buti na lang ok na ang lahat..whew..

at sugod na ko sa baguio, umaga pagkatapos ng huling kagimbal-gimbal na gabi na kasama si daniel..haaay.. pero favorite ko pa rin ang linyang " hindi ito ang mapa ng pasig river" helo? haha..sori naman sir hindi kasi masyadong obvious na pasig river yan.. isa lang syang crooked line na may nakalagay na manila bay sa umpisa at marikina river sa isang end..haay...

saka na lang ang details ng baguio trip.. ayokong mag-isip.. haaayyy.. but generally, masaya naman, sobra actually..para kaming tanga lahat..

graduate na ba talaga ko? isa ko pang tanong yan sa sarili ko.. anong mangyayari sa kin?

walastik, hanep kung pumitik

muntik nang madukot ang phone ko sa bag ko! taena talaga! kasalukuyan akong kumukuha ng pamasahe ng may naramdaman ako sa loob ng bag ko.. buti na lang at hindi nya naman nakuha.. pagkatapos nun ay sa kanya ko pa talaga inabot ang pamasahe ko at sinabi ko "maraming salamat po" sabay ngiti.. sasabihan ko sana sya ng "God bless you po" pagbaba ko kaso wag na lang..pagkabayad ko eh bumaba na agad ako ng jeep.. nakakatakot na nakakainis na pangayayari..

nakakaawa na lang talaga ang mga taong desperado na para makamit ang isang bagay ay kailangan nilang daanin ito sa isang masamang paraan.. sabi nga nila matatanda na yan at alam na nila ang ginagawa nila..pero hindi ba't yun na nga ang mas masakit dun, alam nila na mali ang gingawa nila pero ginagawa pa rin nila ito na para bang wala na silang ibang paraan pa..pagkatapos pag andyan na ang kapalit ng kasamaan eh sasabihin nila na wala na talaga silang alam kundi ang magnakaw na lang o kaya wala silang choice, gusto lang naman nila kumita ng pera blah..blah.. badtrip!

corny ako ngayon

hearing him snore may wake me up in the middle of the night but hearing it is like hearing birds chirp..haha..i feel so happy lately not just by him but how events turn exacly the way i want it to be and by how God surprises me everyday... the way i receive simple complements from people i dont expect them to give me..how i make friends everyday..how i wake up in the morning at the right side of the bed..the way i feel good about geting out of the house to go to class(take note:sir mabazza's class that is)..the way we laugh..whenever we play tong-its and bet for a bag of nagaraya..whenever he tells me things that i really shouldn't hear but tells me just for the sake that at least it came from him..whenever we look at each other whenever we hear a person say a word that ends in "ple" or "ble"..our drinking sessions..simple things are really priceless..but i dont expect it to last forever for it will just sound selfish but i hope it will last a little bit longer. :)

sh*t... im so f*cking mushy..kill me now..i've changed.haha

since its my birthday few weeks ago

Your Birthdate: September 3

You are more than a big ball of energy - you are a big ball of hyper. You are always on the go, but you don't have a type a personality. Instead of channeling your energy into work, you instead go for fun and adventure. Witty and verbal, you can have an interesting conversation with anyone. Your strength: Your larger than life imagination Your weakness: You tend to be pretty scattered Your power color: Lime Your power symbol: Lightening bolt (ako ang dyosa ng kuryente..watch out!) Your power month: March (yeah march..rock on! i think its more on biatchy month.hehe)

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

ayan at hindi ko pa rin natetreat sina pam.. pero ok lang natupad na pala ang bday wish ko..sabi nga ng magaling at b*tch kong kaibigan na itatago na lang ang identity eh.."diba matagal ng natupad wish mo..bakit winiwish mo pa?" ewan kung matatawa ko or maguguilty.. pero anyway.. God has plans for each and everyone of us naman..so siguro ganon talaga buhay..haaayy...

something that surprised me

maligayang bati sa iyong kaarawan Sarah!
take care and beam with pride for being one of the
iskolar ng bayan!

ma'am nantes greeted me on my birthday.haha.. the least person ive expected.hihi..

thank you po

just for the fun of it

inggit ako kay sheena..hehe

ako ay isang mamamayan na ng lipa, batangas

sana sa blueroze na lang kami nakatira!haha..

si Lord naman kasi masyado mapagbiro.. sana hindi mo na lang ako hinayaan makakilala ng taong sa loob ng dalawang araw ko lang din pala mafefeel... para kong nasa ibang mundo tapos pagbalik ko sa diliman parang back to earth.. ako mismo nasaktan sa sarili kong sampal.. kainis! pero ok na din yun, kasi nga diba naka-"focus" na ko..haha.. na tanggap ko na, na ganon sya wala ng magagawa.. tapos biglang ayan parang bigla syang nag-iba..wow! syempre kahit lasing sya, natutuwa pa rin akong panoorin sya at makinig sa kanya.. kahit naiinis ako sa ibang tao naka-smile lang ako.. tamang mukhang gago lang itsura ko..haha..

pero ayan back to earth na ang drama namin ngayon... haayyy ano bang nangyayari? wala naman akong demands.. lahat ng pwedeng pagkakamali iniiwasan ko naman.. sinasadya mo ba na pagurin ako o baka si papaJesus na lang talaga ang may gawa nito.. mabait naman akong bata, anak, kapatid, kaibigan, mamamayan.. ano pa ba? pero salamat pa din kay God sa lahat-lahat..kasi kahit sandali, kahit papano may naramdaman ako na ganon.. na naramdaman ko sya..(naks! drama!)

isang malalim na hinga.. haaaaaaaay...

crying ladies

got this from mica....true, true...

When a girl cries, it doesn't mean she's weak. if a girl cries in front of you, it means she can't take it anymore. If you take her hand, she will stay with you for the rest of your life...


A girl won't cry easily except in front of the person whom she loves the most...she puts down her ego... she cries not because she's weak. she cries not because she wants sympathy or pity. she cries because crying silently is no longer possible...

autism

have you ever experienced giving your all to someone? like how you've manage to understand him, to have forgiven every mistake, to give him everything he needs, to try to make him happy everyday..... even sometimes at your expense and yet you do not expect anything in return to which truly you dont GET any in return? "its love, perfect love actually but its not commitment anymore" i think im too old for happily-ever-after stuff. relationship,for me, is more than just loving, it also needs partnership...

sunday 6august2006

on my checklist

• do the grocery
• clean the house
• prepare food for tomorrow

can't wait for tomorrow..yikik!

monday 7august2006

big day for me, uhm for us or me lang ata talaga... cooked the food i prepared for today.. its salisbury steak by the way..my sister said it tastes ok.. "good.. hope he'll like it..", i told myself..now, it's all set for the "celebration". clock was ticking.. i told him to come and he said he's going to wait for a classmate (not again!) in geol for readings.. well turned out, it's two classmates, 1 in geol and 1 in bio (you went to these classes last friday, so why the hell didn't you photocopy all these readings?).. haay crap! so, no big, hairy, dark man had celebrated with me on what i thought is a big day.. now, i have to wait for another month to do all this, or i guess i wont anymore..haaay.. anyway, he still got a taste of the food in the evening..damn that man! he didnt even believe i prepared all this for this day, for him.. ok! its suppose to hurt me but i just ignored it. so fine never said a word.. never!

8august2006

it's jem's birthday.. but i wasnt able to go.. he said we'll celebrate today.. but i still have to wait for another long hours of poker sessions.. now what do we have to celebrate, is it something about us or is it you winning a large sum of money? (well, the former or the latter, i dont care anymore as long as you get that dark, flat ass of yours off that seat and let's get going!) we went to old spaghetti house,btw.. yey!

me:mahal dyan. wag na sayang pera mo
him: ok lang mahal naman kita

grr.. haaay.. now i hated myself for falling to that line coz as i've noticed i was smiling the whole evening.. grrr...then, went to meatshop after.. after two bottles of beer, he said he's drunk so we need to go home .. haaay..
after all this i still haven't said a word, i didn't rant. i was just simply happy because we're together.. that's it.

at home.. i was scanning channels and he's trying/pestering me to change the channel to ch51(wrestling!).. so, " i said, in a serious, not the pa-cute way, but definitely not mad "sandali lang".. as simple as that... then, he went to the room.i thought he's not feeling well.. so i asked,"masama ba pakiramdam mo?" he said, "hindi, masama loob ko kasi napahiya ako dahil sa tv" with matching takip ng unan sa mukha at sabay talikod sa kin....(san ka pa?)

ok*nam! enya madi ti inbagak!?! sus!

naiyak ako na natawa na hindi ko na maintindihan....boyfriend ko ang pinakamalupit na boyfriend sa buong mundo...haha.. walang katulad..

stages of love

saw stages of love at the coffee beanery last saturday... me and him (haha.. meant to be talaga.. diba yun yung kaaway sa powerpuff girls?) ano na ulit? ay ayun, me and him.. well.. uhm have been constantly fighting..well not exactly fighting.. siguro more of giving each other the cold shoulder... sobrang poker face na ata ako lagi (mastered the paul suba technique)..haha.. anyway, seeing stages of love was the break we really needed.. i thought that not seeing him and giving myself a him-free-moment would make everything alright so we'd had less talks, more hugs and all that crap... the play made me realize that ideal relationship still exists and its bound to happen to anyone who wishes it to be that way..i was and maybe still am a believer of the extremities of reality.. but im starting to think that it should be a balance between believing what's ideal and to accepting what's real..

tasha's right who could have ever thought that we'd be that happy that night.. he was so apprehensive at first onto coming with me at the play.. then, who the hell would expect that at the end of the play he was the one who almost memorized the songs at the play.. lss...

i cant believe that its still possible to smile and laugh again after all we've through the past weeks .. "just hold on to each other and love will proove it" sabi nga sa play.. haha.. la lang saya.kunwari..hehe o sige na sincere na masaya ko :)

other pictures at tasha's blog
http://tashgorgeous.multiply.com/photos/album/13

making choices

there will always be choices in front us but sometimes we have to choose what is incorrect in order for us to achieve what is sensible maybe not for now, but maybe in the future well realize it is what is right after all.. ill always hold your hand...

it's hard to be strong especially for other people but i think its harder to pretend strong when in reality your really not..but i have to.. because i chose to.... for you

father's day

me crying, my dad smiling.. bata pa lang ako mapang-asar na talaga tatay ko..

• my dad, the singer???
• my dad, the toug,h not affectionate one(alam mo na kung saan ako nagmana).
  my dad, the 2nd best cook (my lola's the 1st)
  
• my dad, the macho one
  
• my dad, the entrepreneur
  
• my dad, the vain one (with all those derma visits, the diet, the gym, the supplements)
  
• my dad, the convert..proud to have finally found God..
  
  to you.. happy father's day... :)

my last form 5 sana

yey! im now on my last subject and on my last semester at school.. finally got my initial ticket to freedom.. freedom from neverland... im finally leaving that neverland to grow up.. some people choose to stay because they are attached or maybe wishing for that fairy tale-ish immortality they could get .. im giving up that peter pan mode to being oh soo wendy.. im finally on my way to getting to reality.... si mabs na lang ang huling kalaban ko.. at si ma'am abad..

ang bisyo nga naman

baka hindi ako magbanggit ng pangalan ng kahit sino baka i-google nya ang pangalan nya at lumabas ang blog ko.

article IV section 2
one can only drink 2 bottles of beer, smoke no cigarettes, (on some occasions, 2 is the maximum), be home by 10pm. going home beyond 10pm but not beyond 12am is considered a night out. only 2 night-outs are allowed per week…

wow men! ang labo naman nito. pero naisip ko bakit naman malabo eh kaya nga may rules para maayos at para may “guide” daw kaming sinusundan… haaay.. eh pano kaya pag overnight? siguro dapat may overnight permit. pero sa karanasan ko nung sabado eh parang hindi ata pwede..hay..

noong nakaraang linggo, iinom daw kami at masaya ako kasi pinayagan ako.yey! eh kaso marami akong hindi kakilala at hindi nya din kakilala mag yun kaya hindi na lang ako tumuloy.bago ako natulog, may nagtext…. “aftr hours of negotiatng wid d bf, d verdict: i can only drnk wid u, yes u n 2-3 pipol dat he trusts….”

kinbukasan… sabi ko sa nagtext sa kin “hala kaya ba natin to.haha” “basta lagi tayong magkasama kahit anong mangyari”, sabi nya. sige hayaan mo pag namumutla ka na, tetext ko na boyfriend mo at itatakbo na kita agad sa sarah’s..

anuber??? ano to? ang daming taong may change of heart.. parang hindi ka naman ganyan dati ah. pero sige sabi mo, kailangan may pagbabago para sa kaayusan.. pero bakit kasama ako? o sige hindi na hihirit.. okay na, masaya naman akong umuuwi ng 12.. mega tingin sa precious havaianas ko dahil baka bigla na lang pala akong nakatapak,ang aking damit ay baka maging basahan, ang taxi ay maging isang malaking kalabasa, at oh no waahh happened? ang kawawang dyaber ay naging isang daga… at ang lahat ng ito ay para lamang kay prince charming… charing!wooshoo!

nang araw ding yun.. sarah’s daw kami para sa pagbabago..ako naman, “final na ba yan? kasi magpapalam na ko” tatlo kaming cinderella sa nagpaalam
reply1: ok.. be home by 12. ingat.mwah
reply2: (pagkaraan ng ilang oras) ingat.mwah
reply3: aba.
sa pangatlo ako pinakanatawa.. pero sayo .. u make me proud huh…yikik.. nudge.nudge.. ayan may dumating na lalaki.. sabi ng isa sa amin.. “tara sarah’s” sabi nya. “ayos lang pero uuwi ako ng maaga ha” huwaat?! anong meron sa curfew?! uso?! hmmm... sige paguwi ko sa bulacan sasabihin ko sa tatay ko.. “from now on ipapataw ko na ang articleIV, section2”

ang gabing yun ay naging masaya.. at nakasama pa namin ang teacher namin na umiinom.. at dahil sa masunurin kaming 4 .. ayan 11pm pa lang nakauwi na ko.. at inabutan ko pa ang wonderful life….

sabado,nagpunta ako ng maynila kasi may chuva kaming mga kababaihan.. naka-attend pa tuloy ako ng 40th wedding anniversary ng dalawang matandang mag-asawa.. sweetest to the max.. parang the notebook ang dating…

ayan, eh ang mga kalalakihan pala ay may chuva din. naglagayan ata ng blush-on sa buong parte ng katawan..nung nalaman ko na nag chuvaan pala sila, napaalam na ko dahil naisip ko na agad.. “oy arnibalicious, malate daw kami.. ok lang?” (yan ang tamang paalam, yung nagtatanong muna kung pwede, hindi yung nakahawak na sa bote saka magpapaalam) ayan, pumayag naman.. masaya naman ako sa mga kasama ko..kasama namin ang mga naka-blush-on. nakakatuwa kasi first time nila mag-jug-a-lug..tapos may isa kalahati pa lang nasusuka na.. pero ayos .. sabi pa nga ng isa sa mga kalalakihan.. “ok lang yan,sige cr ka na.. oist ikaw samahan mo yun” and sweet noh? haaayyy.. nung medyo malapit na mag-11pm.. ayan na natetense na ko..”oy tara na, need to go home na ko”.. buti may 4 sa kanila mabait at uuwi na nga daw kami.. sabi pa ng pinakamabait, “sige taxi na tayo,ako na bahala” aaaaw.. sweeter!

habang nasa taxi, ay nawala ang panicky mode ko.. kasi naman natuwa ako sa kanila at sa kanya..una, line prodcer ang nanay nya at cinematographer naman ang tatay nya.. syet! pangalawa, mapagmahal sa mga kapatid.. “nung bata pa yung kapatid ko sobrang tuwang-tuwa ako dun. pag galing ako sa school tapos makikita ko sya, para syang angel na natutulog” syeter! at pangatlo, “ihahatid sana kita kaso nagmamadali na talaga ko(curfew din kaya)..anyway, text mo na lang ang pinakamabait, sa kanya ko na lang tatanong kung nakauwi ka na para isa na lang ang itetext mo.. ingat” syetest!... kaso.. kaso 19 years old.. anu behr? ayoko ng mas bata. mahirap magpalaki ha? please lang. tapos mayabang daw yun sabi ng babaeng iyakin.. ay sayang naman.. anyway to begin with.. no! fight temptations! sabi pa naman sa commercial.. “chicken or ham” “can I have chicken AND ham?” “only one ma’am” hay naku kailangang mamili ng isa lang.. ayoko naman ng bread lang noh.. so syempre dun na lang ako sa unang alok ni papa Jesus..

ayan, medyo late ako ng 10minutes.. aba.. aba.. ang bait ng kumag.. yun pala may ginawang milagro.. pagkatapos kong kaladkarin ang mga bagong lagay ng blush-on sa hita, nagtaxi pa kami mula malate hanggang kamias.. eto pa ba? pakshet naman (hay, kay ham na lang kaya ako?)..kurutin kaya kita sa singit noh?

sa napakahabang entry na to, ano ba ang moral ng story? … isang malaking ewan… kung ilalagay ko kasi ang moral eh sus sobrang haba…. ispin nyo na lang pati dugo ko lasang beer na kakainuman namin ng isa pang Cinderella tungkol sa mga lalaki at sa isyung kalalakihan.... bow!

commitments

the reason why i don’t commit easily is because i know the true essence of commitment and the responsibilities attached to it. i always tell myself that commitment is the hardest thing to give. so i guess the reason why most people commit easily is because they don’t know what commitment really is and that it is easy to get back things you have given that easy….


responsibility equals obligation.....
to be loyal, sincere and honest are three things that are not rules nor grounds on commitment for they are indeed responsibilities.. they are not and will never be favors you ask someone because that someone should already know that those things are needed.. how could that sound so complicated.. when in fact it is so damn simple..

landon im sick

I was sick last week for a few a days so I did nothing but to curl up in bed and read a walk to remember for the nth time.


“what I learned about Jamie is that it is our actions, not our thoughts nor our intentions, that we are judged by other people.”
True enough that is how it really is. Since our action is the most obvious and the fact that few people would really bother to know are real intentions. Yes, it is good to be ourselves all the time and not to think about what other people would think about us. but sometimes we really have to think what they are about to say because who would want to live in a world where we are reputed as this or that or some bastard or bitch (even if we have the purest intentions) and clearly we don’t want that, who would anyway?


I am not commanding you but, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it to the earnestness of others.
Even the bible tells it so, sincerity in love can be proven by how are we able to differentiate our love from one person to another. It is in doing something unique. Hindi yung may gagawin kang effort pero pang ilang beses mo na pala ginawa yun.hehe. even in loving our parents, ano ba yung bagay na sila lang ang makaka-appreciate? Tulad ng, huhuhu.. pag-graduate diba? No other people would really appreciate the fact that we are graduating, na sobrang pinaghirapan natin yun.. etc.etc.. kundi ang mga magulang lang natin, diba? Kaya sa ibang tao.. ganon din. Ano ba yung bagay na sila lang ang sobrang makaka-appreciate……hmmm....


most famous line
love is always patient and kind. it is never jealous. love is never boastful or conceited. it is never rude or selfish. it does not take offense and is not resentful. love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth. it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.. and jamie is the truest essence of this
aawwww ................

where is our guilt factor?

i wonder why are we sometimes not guilty over some things when we really should be guilty about it?

are we really that thick-skinned or maybe.... hmmm....maybe someone have created us this heavy armored clothing, for us not to be guilty and feel good about ourselves when we really should feel bad.... (im not saying that we should always feel bad over something that we did not do righ. anyway that's another thought to ponder upon)

now i wonder.. who are those people doing that.. are they our friends, family or maybe our enemies themselves.. hmm... why would they do that anyway?

the haunting

i am haunted by the past
i think im drowning in this pensieve other people have created for me.
help me please.. help me please..
everything still give me shivers whenever i think about it.. i just have to learn how to ignore.

haayy, ayan mang-aaway ka naman tapos pag bumabalik lahat sayo ng kasalanan mo bigla kang babawi at kunwari tuta kang maamo.. bwahaha *evil laugh* bwahaha.. buti na lang malinis konsenysa ko... ng konti.hahaha...

did you come back coz you're lost? haaayy... nuninuninooooo...isip-isip

little black book

brittany murphy looks mababaw lagi pero her movies really made sense. even just married for me has sense saka uptown girls and a movie i just watched recently sa hbo, little black book.


"a clean break up is easy, you do it, reset it, you get ok, then you move on. leave everything messy and not ok.. it just hurts... forever. i think its time for me to move away from him.. from this."


"it should tear your eyes right now but i realized how will you be able to look at yourself in the morning."

"in my search for the truth, i realized i have been the biggest lie. maybe some secrets must really remain secrets."

stacey:do you believe in happy endings?
some guy: (looks at his wife) i do.. go find your happy ending..

it's another blog post

For one thing there was the choco grabber and the other was the friend grabber. Both were unconscious of doing such. The former was mentally insane and the latter was simply being friendly. It would have been easy, just to simply say, like what tasha said, “ay akin po to” but there are things that are really out of our hands. Its not an issue of being selfish or an issue of sharing but it is just simply understanding. Bless the soul of the choco grabber. He really was unconscious of doing it and we perfectly understand the reason why.

I wished I was able to say “ akin sya” and so you weren’t able to say “akin ka na lang” but nevertheless, its ok because I perfectly understand it. It was bad and hurting on my part but I understand, I know how you feel because I have the same feelings, and it’s love. Only, why do we have to like the same person and at the same time? i have looked at you in a distant way because you were never my friend but i was able to have the oppurtunity to be with you in a place i also had the oppurtunity to visit.i thought things will be different for the two of us and yah it really was different, but not what i had in mind. because the next thing i know, you were already in my shoes. things will never be the same. i know for some of us it will and it is already, but for all of us it won't. it just hurts me why it had to be this way. ako ba talaga ang may kasalanan so why things will never be the same? some of you have already played God on me. im not mad.. i just feel bad. it just hurts.. it really hurts.

It's just so unfair why everything must fall onto me. Why every action, incident, situation, himala, milagro at kababalaghan nyo must include my reflection? I’m not involve in the situation in the first place so why everyone would talk to me about it. At ako pa ang masama or some sort in the end.

arent we the ones toasting about this: that everyone in the department to be friends, for us to have one big circle.. where is it now?


but then..........................................

how many blog posts, comments, lurking around the blog network, hints messages do we have to do and make for us to finally do what we have to and that is to sit down and talk. how many times and on how many occasions do we have to say "things we'll never be the same", but at the back of our minds were wishing everything's gonna come back(oh well, at least in my case that's how it is). i have lots of uncertain thoughts as of the moment but there is one thing i am certain of and that is not to give up on you. you need time, i know.. no matter how much.. i'll be waiting.. i miss you so much.

i will always be here for ALL of you...

cripin's crispy words

“kung ako sya, hindi kita pipilitin na maging kaaway lahat ng kaaway ko pero mas MAGANDA sana kung ang mga kaaway ko ay kaaway mo rin, diba? i would have really appreciated it”

i still stand by what I have done before that I didn’t do anything because I didn’t want to get myself involve for it will only make things more complicated. I just wish I did not make a joke about it and laugh about what happened when we were together. I just wish I told you what really happened that day, how I felt about it and how I made a tearfest at ph104 because of it.

YOU, I am sorry. There are things that would never happen again.. and it is because I am promising you that..

coming fom a rhosig that is one big thing...

that summer love affair

“oy he’s getting married na”, a friend told me the other day. I said “oh how come, eh we were together two summers ago lang. how could he possibly be in a relationship for more than just a year then get married agad? Nabuntis ba nya?” “ay hindi, girlfriend nya yun na nagbreak sila kasi nagpunta ng States. Tapos nagbalikan na lang sila”

that made me remember Ela’s text message during my hell week. Here goes:

“tandaan mo to. Ang love life ay parang paglalakbay. Lahat tayo ay may talagang pupuntahan. Pero along the way may mga stopovers. Isipin mo na lang na yung taong para sayo na hinihanap mo eh hinahanap ka na rin ngayon”

I am happy that I am one of his stop overs, at least in one way or another I was able to “prepare” him for the woman to be with him forever. I am happy I was a twist to their teleserye like love story.

Before I wished that the summer thing did not happen for it was all hurt and that I did not learned something new. But now I learned that lessons may still be learned even after a year or years after what happened..

having a helping hand

Maybe this is what my dad fear the most: that I will grab all my things and go to some place remote, poorest area in the Philippines or worst poorest area in the world. I was glad I was able to know Nadia, our geog243 groupmate and really know how it is to be with people who were/are victims of disasters like bombing for example in North Cotabato.

I was able to realize what a selfish bitch I am thinking and crying over the hearthaches I have had the past weeks while there are people crying because they have got nothing to eat, crying because they are too tired of running the whole day for their lives, crying because of a loss of a love one.

I maybe overreacting but this is how it is. There really are problems that we do not need to think about. It is good to cry over small things. But I realized, I cried too much for how many times over one thing that one boy forced to hold a gun and kill people would think of it that I have got one pathetic selfish problem. I am not playing Mother Theresa, Kofi Anan or some other UN person but I just feel so pathetic as of now…

In helping people, I realized that it is not those people’s luck that they have got me nor that it is their opportunity that they have got someone like me to help them. Rather it is an opportunity for me to help them be able to prove to myself, not to other people and not even to God, that I’ve got worth in this world.

simple things..simple life

van: you know what it's really easy to let go..
me: ha?
van: yes, it is. kasi sa kin lagi kong iniisip na there are people or things that are really destined to be with us or to happen to us but that doesnt mean those people or events have to last. who said destiny is forever anyway? parang kayo, meant to be nga kayo pero it did not last long pero at least it was destined for the two of you to experience having each other, dba...
me: van.. wala lang akong luha ngayon pero umiiyak talaga ko..........

haaay... naku anong ba naman buhay to... sa bagay tamang drama lang

compromising without really compromising.. that was vince's idea of a relationship.. everyone in relationship really has to adjust but who said adjusting should be as painful as being gripped tightly or let's say being "under" ... there are rules to conform as they say.. but really, you dont need to be hard on other people just to make them conform to the rules you are setting on them..pwede mo naman pagbawalan unimon pero syempre you have to exert effort para hindi nya mafeel na nanghihinayang sya na hindi sya umiinom ngayon, dba? eh di spend time with him or her.. so at least happy kayo togther diba kahit walang alak...

as simple as that... at least that's what i think it is..as being simple

pinoy lovestory #117

wala ng pupuntahan ang taong nasa baba kundi sa taas na lang....

--leo
take 3
scene 18 (sa as steps)
pinoy lovestory #117

...hmm... right...

caved in or not anymore

i was in a cave for the past few months. i had the thinking that everything i needed was inside. i dont want to come out at least for now. but heck i was absolutely wrong.... i was forced to move outside so the cave man could let someone in.. i was shocked with the rays of sunshine on my face. im having difficulty adjusting to it, being outside, and the hotness of the sun.. i had to pour milk on my face and put shades on almost everyday just to hide the difficulty of adjusting... i dont know how long will this be....my fairy godmother said someday ill get tired.. but i dont want to get tired.. i want to end this with no heart feelings.. i want to say "haay, im happy for me and for the rest of the world" with smile on my face ready to face the sun with no shades at all.....

....this will happen soon.. :)

loving dadi pogi

if i knew that was coming, i would have probably done it for you...
if i knew you were going to be like this, i would have not given you a chance
............. sadly, i didn't know

dadi pogi's right: don't say next time, because next times increase the probabilities of committing mistakes....

haayy dad raul... from now on rhosig na mamahalin ko...haha

what dreams may come

we really need someone to help us go back to the dreams or goals we once had.
yeah.. ice's right.

and i am glad i was able to know ice and jon.. not just on being acquiantances but really knowing them..

we have the same goals and dreams.. not for just ourselves but for everyone we know and even those we do not know and yeah (for the 2nd time ice's right) for the planet......

we've got big dreams.. but i think we're bigger.. hehe.. kaya natin to..

making mistakes

everyone was busy with the campaign and elections stuff when ais, jon and i decided to go to sarahs and talk things over, drinking and wishing it would be mona who'll win.
funny or maybe weird the night was, the topic ice, jon and me was talking about and maynard's sentiments were just the same.

The whole night or maybe half of it revolved round on the conversation on why and how one mistake could ruin every investment you’ve had on good deeds and on establishing a good reputation for yourself. I guess every relationship goes through this, whether parent and child, among colleagues, lovers, etc. but that doesn’t mean we have to stop saving up on good deeds because everything might just be ruined for a mistake that you might do in the future rather try not to do the mistake that will mess up the personality you have been working hard to build.

The night made me realize that or maybe I knew it all along but never had the chance to really ponder on it.

What if you’re on the shoe of someone whom a person made a mistake on? This was the question that made us give distinctions between disappointments, anger, getting hurt, etc. anger is the initial reaction. Well, that is how I decided to define it. But anger fades away and what is left is the disappointment, or rather the feeling that once in your life you were disappointed or hurt by this certain person. I’ve got so many instances of being disappointed in life that I think I’ll never forget. Sa tatay ko na lang ang dami na eh. But that doesn’t mean that I’ll use it aginst him or susumbatan ko sya about it or anything. Basta ang aking lang eh lagi kong naiisip na minsan sa buhay ko eh sinaktan nya ko. Funny thing is, hindi ko alam kung bakit ganon. I am not sure but maybe this is the reason why one mistake could not be compensated by a million of good things you have done.

siguro talaga ngang ganon lang talaga sya..

thesis mania and the field trip

bukas na ang deadliest deadline ng thesis.haaayyy... naiinis ako sa sarili ko bakit ba hindi ko ginawa to noon pa.. pero kung iisipin ko ok lang at least naging masaya naman ako habang hindi ginagawa ang thesis.hehe. ang dami pang gagawing shet!
-------------------------------------------
the field trip was good.. sa van, im with mond(ha? ano ba yan ngumunguya na naman si raymond), rain na nagpaiwan sa pangasinan at hindi talaga pinalampas ang jewel in the palace, mon "astig" astilla ang susunod na geog rep, jarlo yeh stiff neck jarlo, sweetie sweetest, kate, lady, jayson and leo ang mga walang sawang kumakanta sa buong trip..

famous lines:
sabi ni sir bawal uminom so patago lang kami..
manong caretaker: "oh si sir patagayin nyo naman "
huwaatttt....manong naman oh alam mo ba ang salitang secret..

sir alex dropped us in groups per house for interviews, so im with darren and the very famous jake cadag..after 15 - 20 minutes of eating jake's dragon sid, drinking pepsi and singing in the videoke dahil matipid magsalita si manang..
jake (to darren and me): kayo ba?
darren and me: hahaha..hindi noh close lang kami.
jake: ah ok.. kala ko kasi eh..
nanghina ako sa kakatawa..

sa beach...pag swim ni jake sa DAGAT
jake: ay salt water pala to..
us all: AY HINDI!

sa van, we were joking around saying things in high-pitched voices.. kasi ang virgin daw matinis magsalita...i was laughing na kunwari high-pitch.
leo: hoy,hoy wag ka na humirit dyan..hindi kita nakita kagabi..
me: kaw din hindi ko nakita.haha...

good thing i landed on geography....

weekends

feb24-26
la union & pangasinan

mar4-5
up explore's annive celeb at capones island in zambales

yipee! what weekends!

sickening

im sick
im tired
i've had enough
cant wait to hold that cold red bottle...
wait for me...soon..

with the manila paper and all

i was walking with emman going to Quezon Hall for the ACLE stuffs..

Emman: alam mo na ba na ganon SYA ka-sweet the first time you met him..?
Me: ha?! helo! hindi noh! una, kupal sya. pangalawa, mayabang sya, pangatlo, maangas sya..
Emman and me: hahahahaha

hmmm.. makes me wonder how did a sweet soul suddenly come out of HIS body... with the countless surprises, sweet nothings ive really got nothing to say ...

ang pinakamasaya....
basta nagaway kami.tapos nung gabi...
....totoot..totoot.. ako basa ng text..

ey sweetie im in front of your house, lalabas ka ba to see me?...

syempre kawawa naman sya sa labas.. so i went out of the house and then...
.......
......
surprise!
there he was, my man flashing a manila paper with briskly written scribbles...

"sweetie pls forgive me.. blah..blah.."

actually, hindi ko na nabasa kasi natawa na ko at pinapasok ko na sya ng bahay dahil nakakahiya sa mga kapitbahay...

so much for surprises...

close encounter

it has been a week and im still itching all over. well not really all over just my arms. f*ck that creepy crawling bastard!.. haay.kawawa naman ang higad, natawag pang bastard..why do higads have to do that anyway? bakit ba nila kailangang gumapang sa mga tao and whats next? their lives will never be spared after that close encounter with a human being. i got an uncle who's a veterinarian, and his wife too and oh a cousin but never did he take the board exam(so is that counted?.sheeshh.. now walang sense) now i realized how hard it is for them to treat animals when in fact humans dont have the ability to talk to them...

"let us help all those creatures who cannot help themselves..... "
___________________________________

though ive got this skin disease like for a week, that did not hinder me from doing the usual things.. tambay sa steps,yosi, makipagtitigan kay aissa, then ang kasunod.. sarah's or katipunan...on saturday btw is aissa's birthday celeb..so ayun... iinom na naman..haaaayy. im sure its gonna be a hapi night for aissa and for the rest of us. cheers aissa's 22!

blue moon...

last saturday was a special day for us. funny it was, we welcomed the day with pam, ela, aissa and mike.but that was nice really.
then saturday evening, we watched bluemoon. kainis kasi we saw the last part na agad when we entered the movie house. sabi pa ni darren, "ay the notebook". kainis talaga yung taon yun oh.
anyway, mark herras (turned eddie garcia when older) played manuel pineda, the man in search of his love named corazon. there are two corazons in the movie, pauline luna and jenelyn mercado. so there goes the twist, which corazon did manuel search for during his twilight years.



manuel: sabi nila, ang unang pag-ibig daw ay hindi nawawala..

corazon(jenelyn): tunay na pag-ibig manuel, tunay na pag-ibig ang hindi nawawala..

...oo nga naman.
it has been a cliche for us to truly believed that first love never dies, when in fact that first love put you in shit. that's the first time you fell in love right? so tell me how me first loves had been perfect enough for it not to fade away? when said that first love never dies does that mean your first would be our last? ooops.. i dont think so. or when you find someone else after your first love, does that mean you are now in love with two people, your first then your second, or your first then your last.. sometimes people would tend to change their first love. the first person you fell in love with, youd tell you self that that person is your first love.. then comes the second one.. youd fell deeper then youd tell yourself again.."ay, first time".. how many first times do poeple have to go through, huh?

yes, true love has its own loopholes, i believed but at least this is more realistic because most people would really be true when it comes to love.. when we fell in and even out of love we say it. its either we stay or not. i do believe that it is love when a person becomes the most honest person. yes maybe we tell lies to other people when it comes to love.. but deep inside our cheesiest hearts we cant lie.. it is true love that never dies ... at least ang true love subjective... ang first love kasi many can attest to that... hehe..

...at the near end of the movie..
bluemoon (by orange and lemons) is corazon's favorite song that there was this time she asked manuel to dance with her when this song was played.manuel refused and told her maybe they can dance next time.... at ayon nawala na nga si corazon at hinanap na ni lolo manuel form manila to laoag, to albay, to cebu then back to manila.. nasa states pala ang layas na si corazon.pero bumalik na ulit sa pilipinas..

...when they finally saw each other during their salt and pepper inspired haircolor..

manuel: naaalala mo pa ba yung kanta natin?
darren on me: uhmm... sweetie gasolina?

ayon tawa na lang kami ng tawa..