little black book

brittany murphy looks mababaw lagi pero her movies really made sense. even just married for me has sense saka uptown girls and a movie i just watched recently sa hbo, little black book.


"a clean break up is easy, you do it, reset it, you get ok, then you move on. leave everything messy and not ok.. it just hurts... forever. i think its time for me to move away from him.. from this."


"it should tear your eyes right now but i realized how will you be able to look at yourself in the morning."

"in my search for the truth, i realized i have been the biggest lie. maybe some secrets must really remain secrets."

stacey:do you believe in happy endings?
some guy: (looks at his wife) i do.. go find your happy ending..

it's another blog post

For one thing there was the choco grabber and the other was the friend grabber. Both were unconscious of doing such. The former was mentally insane and the latter was simply being friendly. It would have been easy, just to simply say, like what tasha said, “ay akin po to” but there are things that are really out of our hands. Its not an issue of being selfish or an issue of sharing but it is just simply understanding. Bless the soul of the choco grabber. He really was unconscious of doing it and we perfectly understand the reason why.

I wished I was able to say “ akin sya” and so you weren’t able to say “akin ka na lang” but nevertheless, its ok because I perfectly understand it. It was bad and hurting on my part but I understand, I know how you feel because I have the same feelings, and it’s love. Only, why do we have to like the same person and at the same time? i have looked at you in a distant way because you were never my friend but i was able to have the oppurtunity to be with you in a place i also had the oppurtunity to visit.i thought things will be different for the two of us and yah it really was different, but not what i had in mind. because the next thing i know, you were already in my shoes. things will never be the same. i know for some of us it will and it is already, but for all of us it won't. it just hurts me why it had to be this way. ako ba talaga ang may kasalanan so why things will never be the same? some of you have already played God on me. im not mad.. i just feel bad. it just hurts.. it really hurts.

It's just so unfair why everything must fall onto me. Why every action, incident, situation, himala, milagro at kababalaghan nyo must include my reflection? I’m not involve in the situation in the first place so why everyone would talk to me about it. At ako pa ang masama or some sort in the end.

arent we the ones toasting about this: that everyone in the department to be friends, for us to have one big circle.. where is it now?


but then..........................................

how many blog posts, comments, lurking around the blog network, hints messages do we have to do and make for us to finally do what we have to and that is to sit down and talk. how many times and on how many occasions do we have to say "things we'll never be the same", but at the back of our minds were wishing everything's gonna come back(oh well, at least in my case that's how it is). i have lots of uncertain thoughts as of the moment but there is one thing i am certain of and that is not to give up on you. you need time, i know.. no matter how much.. i'll be waiting.. i miss you so much.

i will always be here for ALL of you...

cripin's crispy words

“kung ako sya, hindi kita pipilitin na maging kaaway lahat ng kaaway ko pero mas MAGANDA sana kung ang mga kaaway ko ay kaaway mo rin, diba? i would have really appreciated it”

i still stand by what I have done before that I didn’t do anything because I didn’t want to get myself involve for it will only make things more complicated. I just wish I did not make a joke about it and laugh about what happened when we were together. I just wish I told you what really happened that day, how I felt about it and how I made a tearfest at ph104 because of it.

YOU, I am sorry. There are things that would never happen again.. and it is because I am promising you that..

coming fom a rhosig that is one big thing...

that summer love affair

“oy he’s getting married na”, a friend told me the other day. I said “oh how come, eh we were together two summers ago lang. how could he possibly be in a relationship for more than just a year then get married agad? Nabuntis ba nya?” “ay hindi, girlfriend nya yun na nagbreak sila kasi nagpunta ng States. Tapos nagbalikan na lang sila”

that made me remember Ela’s text message during my hell week. Here goes:

“tandaan mo to. Ang love life ay parang paglalakbay. Lahat tayo ay may talagang pupuntahan. Pero along the way may mga stopovers. Isipin mo na lang na yung taong para sayo na hinihanap mo eh hinahanap ka na rin ngayon”

I am happy that I am one of his stop overs, at least in one way or another I was able to “prepare” him for the woman to be with him forever. I am happy I was a twist to their teleserye like love story.

Before I wished that the summer thing did not happen for it was all hurt and that I did not learned something new. But now I learned that lessons may still be learned even after a year or years after what happened..

having a helping hand

Maybe this is what my dad fear the most: that I will grab all my things and go to some place remote, poorest area in the Philippines or worst poorest area in the world. I was glad I was able to know Nadia, our geog243 groupmate and really know how it is to be with people who were/are victims of disasters like bombing for example in North Cotabato.

I was able to realize what a selfish bitch I am thinking and crying over the hearthaches I have had the past weeks while there are people crying because they have got nothing to eat, crying because they are too tired of running the whole day for their lives, crying because of a loss of a love one.

I maybe overreacting but this is how it is. There really are problems that we do not need to think about. It is good to cry over small things. But I realized, I cried too much for how many times over one thing that one boy forced to hold a gun and kill people would think of it that I have got one pathetic selfish problem. I am not playing Mother Theresa, Kofi Anan or some other UN person but I just feel so pathetic as of now…

In helping people, I realized that it is not those people’s luck that they have got me nor that it is their opportunity that they have got someone like me to help them. Rather it is an opportunity for me to help them be able to prove to myself, not to other people and not even to God, that I’ve got worth in this world.

simple things..simple life

van: you know what it's really easy to let go..
me: ha?
van: yes, it is. kasi sa kin lagi kong iniisip na there are people or things that are really destined to be with us or to happen to us but that doesnt mean those people or events have to last. who said destiny is forever anyway? parang kayo, meant to be nga kayo pero it did not last long pero at least it was destined for the two of you to experience having each other, dba...
me: van.. wala lang akong luha ngayon pero umiiyak talaga ko..........

haaay... naku anong ba naman buhay to... sa bagay tamang drama lang

compromising without really compromising.. that was vince's idea of a relationship.. everyone in relationship really has to adjust but who said adjusting should be as painful as being gripped tightly or let's say being "under" ... there are rules to conform as they say.. but really, you dont need to be hard on other people just to make them conform to the rules you are setting on them..pwede mo naman pagbawalan unimon pero syempre you have to exert effort para hindi nya mafeel na nanghihinayang sya na hindi sya umiinom ngayon, dba? eh di spend time with him or her.. so at least happy kayo togther diba kahit walang alak...

as simple as that... at least that's what i think it is..as being simple